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Graffiti For Sale

My name spoonerizes well, and someday my international import/export business will be operate under the Cedar Parrot imprint.  But I've always thought that there weren't any good anagrams of my name.  They're good letters, but there are too many copies of them.  With three Rs and three Ts, the tongue starts to twist pretty quickly.  I was never able to make much headway.

I never got around to asking the internet.

Anagram solvers have been around since the internet crawled out of the primordial digital ooze, and I've used them for other things, but for some reason I never fed them my name until today.  Turns out there's at least one anagram that isn't random gibberish.  How awesome would it be to make a career change and get the following business cards printed up:


Banksy, call me.
Comments (618) | last by auto note buyers, Feb 11, 6:31 AM

I'll say one thing for Apple-- their ad guys are good. Check out the new Apple ads with the kid from Ed and the nerdy guy from The Daily Show. Simple, effective, and-- if you're a geek-- hilarious. Genius.

Majority Rules

I know we've been down this road before, or something very much like it, but bear with me. An article in USA Today reports that retailers are putting "Christmas" back into the holiday season after a backlash from consumers at generic holiday messages. Unfortunately, in a capitalist society, money talks-- and there are a lot of Christian dollars getting spent in December. But two quotes from the article deserve special mention.

Chains also may be responding to a push by groups such as The Catholic League and American Family Association (AFA) against a generic "winter holiday."

The AFA cited 10 retailers (Kroger, Dell, Target, OfficeMax, Walgreens, Sears, Staples, Lowe's, J.C. Penney and Best Buy) for omitting Christmas in ads. It urges shoppers to go where Christmas is recognized.

It's not enough that the entire country gets Christmas off as a holiday, the White House has a giant Christmas tree on its lawn, and we're tortured for weeks with tales of grandma getting run over by a reindeer and mommy kissing Santa Claus, but all major retailers have to genuflect too? Yes, please only go where Christmas is recognized, because the holiday is in real danger of getting marginalized and suppressed in America. What's truly astounding is that The Catholic League and AFA have nothing better to do with their time, like, oh I don't know, improving people's lives or making sure no prepubescent boys are getting taken advantage of by trusted priests.

Ads for Dillard's department stores say: "Discover Christmas. Discover Dillard's." But the regional chain says that is not a political statement. "We do not believe it is our place as a retailer to politicize the season," says spokeswoman Julie Bull. "The sentiment expressed certainly applies to the other holidays celebrated this time of year, as well."

No, clearly it does not. That's what celebrants of Christmas never seem to understand. Christmas is not a generic stand-in for all winter holidays-- it's specific to Christianity. Your message to "discover Christmas" does not speak to Jews, Muslims, atheists, and other non-Christians. The sentiment expressed by a sign saying "Whites welcomed!" does not certainly apply to other races as well. The fact that the vast majority of your customers celebrate Christmas does not change the fact that by singling that holiday out, you risk alienating the minority who don't.

Happy holidays.

Comments (14) | last by Rebecca, Dec 26, 10:17 PM

Google Ads

I'm experimenting with Google ads. The whole GMail brouhaha has me intrigued by the technology, and a little extra revenue never hurt anyone-- so go ahead and click on those links, people! I'm kinda curious to see how the ads change over the course of a series of blog posts. It's actually rather tempting to try to force an ad to appear.

American Express!
Porn, porn, porn!


Comments (8) | last by Jake, Apr 15, 1:07 PM

The $500,000 Face

Thanks to The Milk Mustache Book, I can at least verify that no, I hadn't ever seen a photo of Naomi Campbell.


I just received a piece of real estate spam with the following subject line:

Promotion Has Not At All Occur Consequently Tranquil!

It's almost as if the sender is trying to hypnotize me: This is not spam. This is not a promotion. There is nothing unusual here. Be calm. Be at peace.

Of course, the absurd grammar and excessive capitalization pretty much blew that plan out of the water. I wonder if there's money to be made in a "Spamming to Anal-Retentives" seminar.

Comments (4) | last by Dave, Jan 17, 3:19 AM

I Can't Read!

So I'm in the car with, er, "Dave" when he turns to me and asks, "If I were to say to you 'I can't read!', would that mean anything to you?" My face lights up as I retort, in an anguished yet enthusiastic voice, "Only one thing smells like bacon, and that's bacon! What's that say? I don't know-- I can't read!"

I'm quoting, of course, from one of the most inspired commercials of all time, for Beggin' Strips dog treats, wherein the camera careens around the house from the viewpoint of a manic dog desperately searching for the origin of a bacony smell. It seems Dave had tried to describe this commercial to his girlfriend, but you might as well describe Michaelangelo's David to a blind man. Until one basks in its glory firsthand, it's just a giant naked guy with a sling.

And therein lies the problem. I searched the web, font of all things pirated from television, and came up empty. The best I could find was this sound clip which lacks soul. The full commercial captures the existential angst of the hungry dog driven to the brink of madness by a tantalizing aroma from an unknown source. It makes me chuckle just thinking about it. Be the dog.

I want that commercial.

Surely someone out there can come to the rescue?

Comments (4) | last by amos, Feb 10, 7:08 AM

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