It used to be that summer meant trips to the beach, tall glasses of lemonade, and long backups on 520 when the Mariners were in town. And perhaps it still means all of those things. But you really know that summer's arrived when all the reality competitions start reappearing on television. Not the best-of-breed Amazing Race or Survivor, mind you, but the one-offs and snark-fests. And I do believe I hear the catch phrases on the breeze.
Critics have keelhauled Mark Burnett's latest, Pirate Master, and for good reason-- it has a kind of Merchant-Ivory periodness that is ill-suited to the genre. Touches that must have sounded great on paper-- "We'll dress up one player as 'captain' and two more as 'mates', then give them clunky dialog to read!"-- just look dopey when real people are involved. The casting office was obvious hunting for another Rupert when they found Jamie. And in episode one, at least, the treasure hunting was thematic but unexciting.
But.
C'mon, people-- pirates! Yarrrrr! What more could you want from a cheesy summer romp? The payout structure, where the captain gets half, the mates each a quarter, and the rest of the crew splits the remaining quarter, was created to practically guarantee a mutiny. The first doofus to grab the captain's hat has seemingly never watched any reality TV competition. The idea that he might not always be captain seems to never have occurred to him until the possibility of a mutiny was announced, and so he made no attempts to foster good will among the other players. So already we have someone whose comeuppance shall be celebrated (zounds!). And while geek/goth-boy's compass ploy was clever, his utter failure to predict its ice-cold reception only underscored his lack of social awareness.
For you board gamers out there, this show is essentially a game of Junta for real money. As any good Presidente knows, the key to retaining power is keeping key players happy while lining your own pockets as surreptitiously as possible. It will be interesting to see if anyone on the show truly groks it before it's too late.
Posted by Peter at June 5, 2007 02:01 PM"Junta for real money."
OK, that sounds like an interesting show. Our one house rule for Junta was that we were only allowed to play if all the players already knew and liked each other. Because if your first encounter with someone was playing Junta with them, you'd always think of them as a treacherous backstabber.
Posted by: Larry Hosken on June 5, 2007 04:46 PM