The 18 All-Stars have each recorded a brief plea for the audience-awarded million. Let's review their pitches.
Alicia: Her whole attitude screams... well... attitude. Getting in the face of her opponents might have been a viable strategy, but getting in the face of the voters isn't.
Amber: She obviously doesn't expect the money, so the graceful thing to do would have been to say that she just won a million, let someone else have a chance. A lost opportunity to show some class.
Colby: Easily the most charming plea. Doubt it'll work, but nicely done.
Ethan: Props for coming right out and saying he doesn't need the money and that he'll split it evenly among the 18 All-Stars' favorite charities, but antiprops for saying he "deserves" the money because of what he'll do with it. Bzzz.
Jenna L.: Slow down, woman! Very big of you to lobby for Rupert, although your implication that stoners are going to vote for him was kinda odd. Also, the "Rupert's going to win anyway" approach isn't exactly the best line to use to convince people to vote for him.
Jenna M.: Simple, honest, heart-felt. Good on you.
Jerri: Wallowing in a bizarre anti-reality cause isn't going to win her friends or money.
Kathy: I expected a bit more of an emotional pitch from Kathy instead of "I played hard and with integrity." I don't know where people keep getting the idea that playing Survivor with integrity is a virtue. Winning after playing virtuously, ala Ethan, is commendable. It is not, however, a reason in and of itself to elect someone a winner.
Lex: Lex enjoins people to vote with their heart. Perhaps because he knows that he's got no chance at the money and everyone's going to vote for Rupert anyway.
Richard: You might have been the best player of the game in season 1, but not this time, pal. There are other players far more "deserving" of the cash than you.
Rob C: Hook a brother up! Love it. Love the tacit acknowledgement that Rupert's the populist choice, but Rob just comes off looking and sounding desperate. If people want the money to go to Rupert, they're going to give it directly to him-- not to you to split with him. You're flailing, buddy. Would have liked to have seen you win in the Amazon, but you're not getting this million either.
Rob M.: Here's where a touch of humility might have served you in good stead. "I'm being honest-- I deserve the million" isn't the way to voters' hearts.
Rudy: What can you say about this guy that hasn't already been said? A product of another time, in a good way. If this vote was happening after Survivor: Borneo, he'd be a shoo-in. But I think his moment has passed.
Rupert: After an uncomfortable start begging for the money by virtue of how many people it would help in Indianapolis, he did exactly the right thing and became the only one of the 18 All-Stars to thank the viewers for all their support, win or lose. Of course, the man could have made funny faces and baby talked for 20 seconds and he'd still win this million.
Shii-Ann: Babble babble babble. Anyone who actually uses the phrase "Outwit, outplay, outlast" in their plea deserves a boot to the head.
Susan: LOL. A woman who knows she's got no shot at the cash and at least decided to have some fun with it.
Tina: My first reaction was approval for her lack of greed, opening declaring she doesn't want the money. But my hypocracy detector went through the roof when she asked people to vote for the person who's going to give it away. Tell us, Tina, have you given all of your million away? Now that you've got yours, none of the other 17 are entitled to theirs? Feh.
Tom: Being in the game longer than anyone else doesn't mean you played better-- it just means people didn't see you as enough of a threat to get rid of sooner.
Posted by Peter at May 10, 2004 4:00 PM