For the past couple of weeks I've been keeping very late hours at the computer. While this isn't in itself unusual, the reason why is. I've been foregoing my usual recreational activities to create a game show for a 250+ person gathering I'm attending this month. I'm not getting paid to do so. In fact, I volunteered the offer on my own accord a year ago. I'm just not sure why.
Last year I ran a massively multiplayer Family Feud game that went very well. I wrote custom software for that, which took some time but really not too much. Emboldened, I upped the ante for myself this year by creating an entirely new game show format-- which required new software. And instead of writing in languages I already knew like Javascript or C, I decided to use this as an opportunity to learn Flash.
The result has been 2-3 weeks of intensive labor and an application that's a mish-mash of coding styles reflecting the evolution of my Flash knowledge. Round 1 of the game, for example, makes extensive use of the Flash timeline. By round 3 I'd chucked that approach in favor of a completely script-driven state machine. It's embarrassingly bad code, as most learning exercises are. But the game looks promising. It even has some visual sizzle, despite my lack of mad graphic design skillz, and I'm hopeful that it will go over well.
I'm just not sure why I signed on for it. The idea was that once I'd written the app, I could run the game again with new content in future years, or at other venues. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. I'm just waxing a bit philosophical about why idiots like me are willing to put so much work into something that's not only "just for fun," but in this case will only last under an hour. Let's call it 50 hours of labor to create a one-hour experience. Why bother?
I can posit some answers. The egoboo. The satisfaction in a job well-done, and in giving enjoyment to others. The attention of a crowd. The opportunity to scream, "Look how clever and creative I am!" through my work. The chance to create in a genre for which I've had a life-long passion. The fantasy that I might make a living at this kind of thing again some day. Any, or all, or none of these things.
Today, dog-tired, guzzing sugar and caffeine to avoid falling asleep in the office after the latest wee-hour binge, the question looms larger than the answers. In a couple of weeks, with the event a ringing success and behind me, perhaps I'll see more clearly.
And post lucid blog entries.
Posted by Peter at April 6, 2004 05:26 PM"I'm just not sure why I signed on for it."
To remix some of the answers you posit; I guess it's because you have played some of the finest massively-multiplayer offline games that the world has to offer, and you have enjoyed many of them, and you have enjoyed many parts of some of them, and because you like creating joy for other people, and because you think your selfless acts will inspire other people to continue to act selflessly for the gaming world's benefit in years to come. Perhaps this brings back happy memories of Entros, as well as feeding the fantasy mentioned in your last answer?
I can put you in touch with a guy who writes game show applications in Flash and runs them at anime conventions, if that would help. (See http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=greggo4randy . ) Most of his games are adaptations of popular game shows - I used his Squares game at Nimbus and the software was ever so good - but he has at least one original game as well. Never met him, but seems like a nice guy. Heck, anyone who spends lots of time writing game show Flash applications so that other people can have lots of fun playing them is pretty well up there in the "nice guy" stakes. (Compare and contrast to the hundreds of hours you spent writing the Microsoft game.)
Please tell us all about the game once it's over! I am convinced it's going to be something more than a little special, and only wish I could be there. Perhaps my wonderful new girlfriend who I met through LiveJournal (Ah! Smug mode!) and I might be there in 2005 to see it. No, seriously!
Posted by: Chris M. Dickson on April 6, 2004 06:48 PMWhy? Because fundamentally we know that the greatest things are achieved when we have a vision that is bigger than what has come before. Even if you don't know how you'll get to the end, there is something immensely rewarding about pursuing a creative process towards a final defined goal.
So, I don't think it is about ego at all. At least not in the sense implied, though it is an important piece of self-identity. The accolades of friends and peers is rewarding, but only to the extent that it can reinforce your internal knowledge that you have poured yourself into a work. The frustration is transient and part of the larger picture, which is having passion for your work.
Here's to the end product meeting the expectations of your mind's eye.
Brian
Posted by: Brian L on April 6, 2004 08:01 PMYa know... I don't commit to stuff for other people often, but I sometimes do just for the learning experience. You're learning Flash. It's something I'd like to do, but haven't really had an excuse. I'm currently learning texture shaders.
Posted by: Jack on April 7, 2004 10:20 AMHey, I'd love to hear a detailed description of this when it's actually done and played. New game show types = fascinating stuff.
Well, in my world anyway :P
Posted by: Mark on April 7, 2004 03:03 PM>> Let's call it 50 hours of labor to create a one-hour experience. Why bother?
Neglecting the fact that 50 creation-hours / 250 participant-hours yields about 12 minutes work for each person's one-hour experience - a much better-sounding efficiency.......
Why bother to hire lots of man-hours in the form of a catering and service staff to throw a wedding reception, or any kind of party for that matter?
Why bother to spend the man-hours it takes to maintain a theater and put on a play?
In fact, why bother to spend the man-hours represented by the hotel, catering, etc. staffs doing this 250-person event, whatever it is?
Experience, or the memory thereof, is the only thing one can truly take along everywhere. Interesting experiences make life better, and shared interesting experiences bond people together. When that experience is an artistic creation that touches people's thoughts and emotions, it is that much more effective.
Besides - it's fun being the DM.
Posted by: Harlan on April 8, 2004 11:58 AM