I had a Laundry Situation this morning. You've been there. Fresh from the shower, toweled off, ready to dress and meet the day. Then you open your underwear drawer. The camera zooms in on the vast emptiness that greets you, then pulls out in a series of ever-widening quick cuts as you scream in despair.
You glance at yesterday's underwear beckoning ever so suggestively from the lip of the hamper. <rasping breath> "Luke. I am your father. Join me." You reject the Dark Side and scramble around your bedroom, checking your closet, your other drawers, the heaps of clothing on the floor-- anywhere a clean pair of underwear might be lurking.
That was me. And I found something. A pair of underwear stuffed into the back corner of the sock drawer. Banished and forgotten, but clean.
Boxers.
I'm a briefs man. I suppose that's my mom's doing-- it's what I always had as a child, and I never saw a reason to switch. But somewhere along the line I got a pair of boxers as a gift-- also from mom, in her misguided but well-intentioned "Peter will like anything with Bugs Bunny on it" phase-- which languished in disuse. But now I was backed into a corner. And fun as it is for Joey and Chandler to say, I didn't fancy going commando. Boxers it was.
And it feels weird. It's like I'm naked underneath my clothes. Every time I shift in my seat, I shift, if you know what I mean. I thought the <zip> <zip> <zip> of corduroy was the most self-conscious I could get from walking down the hall with parts of my body rubbing together, but today I discovered differently. Maybe it's a jeans thing. Slacks and boxers might create a synergy of loose-fitting comfort, but snug denim wants snug undergarments.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have laundry to do.
Posted by Peter at January 22, 2004 06:23 PMboxer briefs....the best of both worlds
Posted by: dana on January 22, 2004 09:04 PMIndeed - boxer briefs are the way to go. Briefs are too tight, boxers a bit too loose. Boxer briefs are right in the middle and work just fine in dress clothes or jeans.
You still should keep some briefs around though, as I discovered when summer rolled around. Boxers suck with shorts.
Posted by: Larry on January 23, 2004 06:06 AMSorry, I gotta' chime in here (and I am sooooooo sorry that this chain originated in Peter's underwear drawer)
Briefs should only be worn by a grown man when engaged in bouncing or kicking another ball. Boxer briefs work- if you must, and they more or less let things fall where they will - Dana is right, there is no "dressing to the Left" in brief- besides, where are you gonna' find a talor to work on your toughskins?
Don't get me started on animal prints.
Posted by: Damon on January 23, 2004 01:22 PMThat's quite an opinion, Damon. I happen to think you are wrong, though. Boxers are very uncomfortable if you are fat, like I am. Briefs are better, but boxer briefs are the way to go for me (and I'm sure I'm not alone).
Posted by: Nathan Beeler on January 23, 2004 01:42 PMWhall, you gotta' take a stand somewhere Nate, and I choose to stand on my underwear.
Posted by: Damon on January 23, 2004 01:59 PMMy current preference is a variant of boxer briefs known as "trunk briefs". They have a shorter inseam than boxer briefs but similar fit, feeling somewhat like swimming trunks.
Posted by: Mark Engelberg on January 29, 2004 02:57 AMA pair of boxer briefs awaits you upon your visit. I have been looking all over for "bugs", however the hip hoppers seem to be the way to go. Love ya, Mom
Posted by: Peter's Mom on January 29, 2004 12:11 PM