Microsoft Sued For Wasted Time

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Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation's legal woes continued today as it was hit with a new class action lawsuit. The suit, filed by Richard Feder of Fort Lee, NJ on behalf of American office workers, seeks restitution for thousands of hours he alleges were wasted due to the company's Powerpoint product. "Managers put slides up on the screen, then spend the next hour reading them aloud," Lee said. "I could read them myself in five minutes. Instead, an hour of my life gets sucked away. That's an hour I'll never get back, and I deserve compensation for it." Co-plaintiff Gregory Mallin expressed anger at the software giant. "I've got a whole set of bullet points for those Redmond bigwigs, and they're all .44 caliber."

Although Microsoft does not schedule or run the meetings of its software's users, attorney Barbara Miller argued that they should be held accountable. "The precedent has been established by the RIAA case against Napster," she explained. "Microsoft is fully aware of how its Powerpoint software is used, yet it continues to knowingly supply that software to poorly-trained public speakers who waste the time of tens of thousands of people every day. That makes Microsoft just as culpable as the time-wasters themselves."

In a separate statement, Microsoft announced that the forthcoming Powerpoint 2003 will no longer support data projectors. "If the slides aren't projected in front of the group, listeners can focus on what speakers are saying instead of reading ahead and losing interest. We're very excited about this feature and believe it will revolutionize the modern meeting."

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Funny!

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