I'm the first to admit that I've got money issues. I don't part with it easily. I agonize over virtually every purchase. I spend my change. I need to work on loosening up, on feeling OK about spending money on myself. Therapy might be helpful. Except that it costs money.
I wanted to stay in the Polynesian with my sister & nieces. I thought I could ignore the cost and just go with it. I tried bringing myself into a Zen-like state of acceptance, but satori eluded me. A hotel room for me is nothing more than a place to crash at night and shower in the morning. I'm going to Disney World for the theme parks, not the resort facilities. I can understand why my sister wants to stay at the Polynesian. Killer location, great pool for the kids, the Disney "magic" at a time in their lives when it's still magical... makes total sense for them. But it's overkill for me. The difference in price-- $300 for the Polynesian, $80 for the All-Stars-- is enormous. In fact, the total package-- room, park passes, and Silver Wishes upgrade-- is less than half the cost at the All-Stars than it'd be at the Polynesian. That's an entire 2nd vacation I'd be tossing away.
That's real money, and I couldn't just shrug it off. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got about staying at the Polynesian. I can still meet up with the family in the morning, return with them to their hotel at night, hang out with the kids until they go to bed, then bus or taxi back to my hotel. I'm willing to accept that minor inconvenience, and the time to myself might actually be nice after spending the entire day with the family.
More to the point, I'm excited about the trip and not seething at the cost as I'd be at the Polynesian. It's the right decision for me. My sister thinks I'm being cheap and allowing monetary concerns to take precedence over being close to my nieces. I agree that I'm being cheap, but feel the impact on my nieces will be negligible. They'll still have all the magic, just without Uncle Pete in the early morning. I'm content with my cost-benefit analysis, even if my sister isn't.
The worst thing about people knowing you've come into money is they all feel entitled to decide how you should spend it.
Posted by Peter at August 30, 2003 05:00 PMi too had a frugal upbringing. i won't tell you how to spend your money, but i will relate a story about myself.
my grandmother would only buy things that were on sale whether she and her family liked it or not. my mother wouldn't buy things we didn't like, but neither would she buy things when the prices got high. it took me years of having the freedom to spend before i could enjoy that freedom. now if i *really* want a tomato i'll buy one even if the price is high.
i still don't spend easily, but when there's something that i really want i do buy it. it's clear that staying at the polynesian wouldn't make you happy, so why do it?
Posted by: dana on August 30, 2003 07:29 PMPeople who have managed to get real money and actually want to continue to have it remain frugal, just at a different level.
Why spend the money on something that you don't need? Because you have it really isn't a good reason - you can use is for something else, right?
Just remember, you can't take it with you and having the most toys at the end doesn't mean you win :)
Posted by: Larry on August 30, 2003 08:25 PM"They'll still have all the magic, just without Uncle Pete in the early morning."
I think that the "magic" of Uncle Pete in the early morning is something that all of us can do without. These are kids, for goodness sake, leave them their innocence!
Posted by: Dug Steen on August 31, 2003 09:08 AMlmao at dug!
Posted by: dana on August 31, 2003 09:16 AMThe worst thing about people knowing you've come into money is they all feel entitled to decide how you should spend it.
Just to prove you right...
Have you (plural) considered looking around for a cheap deal at the Polynesian to please both your family and budget sensibilities? There are doubtless tons of plan-your-WDW-holiday sites about, but the one I know about is OurLaughingPlace. (Context: if demand for Nimbus - 2003 had been far less than expected, we planned to punt to fill our room booking through that site.)
Good luck!
Posted by: Chris M. Dickson on September 1, 2003 06:01 AMI am the famed sister of the Polynesian Vacation. While I understand where Pete's "frugality" comes from, and have much empathy, my urging him to get beyond cheap began long before millionaire. Pete's means have exceeded his ability to spend for a very long time. (At age two he walked around with a penny in each hand. He still has those two pennies.)If he had not won a dime, this trip would have been possible for him. So I am not trying to spend his winnings. My concern is that he is unable to spend anything without huge amounts of mental energy spent. As a mental health professional I can tell you that flexibility is a marker of mental health and well being. It is Pete's rigidity that can be difficult, winnings or no winnings.
Posted by: Abby on September 3, 2003 08:41 AMI'm not going to comment on Peter's mental health, (pot, kettle, etc.), but I think there's a difference between not spending money (that you can afford) on something you will actually enjoy or get use out of, and not spending it on something you won't. If he won't enjoy staying at the Polynesian any more than at the All-Stars, why spend so much more? This is especially true at a Disney property, where you decidedly do not get what you pay for in terms of hotel accomodations - I don't remember where we stayed when I went there (one of the properties a jump or two above the All-Stars), but the rooms were what you'd have expected to pay 50% of the price for anywhere else.
Posted by: Dan Blum on September 3, 2003 09:33 AMThe defining factor for me is: will I regret it. If staying at the Polynesian was one of my dreams and I just couldn't bring myself to do it, that's one thing. But if I don't care where I stay, I'll spend the money elsewhere (bring home a few boards games, maybe?). I would definitely regret paying that much money and not getting "anything" for it, whereas spending the money on another trip (Essen) would be much more worthwhile. I ALWAYS hate to admit this, but I agree with Peter this time. But loosen those purse strings when the time is right to do/get something you've always wanted but were afraid to pay.
Posted by: Tom on September 3, 2003 03:10 PMI think you're being cheap. Oh wait, you already agreed to that.
If you've ever seen a Mastercard commericial, you should know that the value of spending time with your nieces is priceless. If you're really going on a family vacation, you should stay at the same place. However, if you're going on vacation, that just happens to be at the same place as your family, feel free to stay at a different spot and meet up at certain places at certain times.
I also wouldn't underestimate the time and/or cost associated with going between hotels at the start/end of the day. While WDW has a pretty extensive transportation system, getting between hotels is not always easy.
Posted by: Greg on September 5, 2003 05:41 PM