It's funny how we never see ourselves the way others do. We don't notice our own stooped posture, or the unseemly shuffle of our gait. We only see ourselves in the mirror a couple times a day (or, if you're a narcissist or teenager, a couple dozen). And even then, it's a frontal view. Sure, when I do my morning toilette I can see my receding hairline. I know it's getting awfully thin up there. But I never think of myself as-- you know-- balding. Then I'll see myself facing the other way in a photo, and the glare off my bald spot brings me a crushing glimpse of reality.
Or take, for instance, this morning's shower. I spent part of yesterday on the grass at Seattle Center enjoying the annual Folklife Festival. Listened to musicians with more enthusiasm than talent, indulged in overpriced festival food, solved a few crosswords. In all, I was out for less than three hours-- apparently enough time for some ne'er do well to connect the pipes in my shower to a tank of sulfuric acid, because when I stepped beneath the spray this morning you could have heard my howl in Kalamazoo.
Scalps, like Rhode Island clubs, burn easily. I am now one of those men who needs to wear a hat in the summer. This displeases me. A have a large head, so few hats fit well. I don't like wearing them. And it seems the height of injustice that the very hair that got me into this mess in the first place has the temerity to leave me with hat head regardless of how short I cut it.
Posted by Peter at May 27, 2003 03:02 PMYou just haven't tried the right hat yet!
http://www.ecreativezone.com/nepalexpoimpo/crazy_hats_caps.html
Posted by: Larry on May 27, 2003 06:11 PMif you don't like hats then just put suntan lotion on your head. be comforted that you are tall enough that most people can't tell what's going on up there!
Posted by: dana on May 28, 2003 08:50 AMI recommend going straight to the Greek fisherman's cap.
Nothing says, "I give up!" quite like a Greek fisherman's cap.
Also, if it's possible for you to grow a tremendous handlebar mustache, you might want to give that a shot.
Posted by: David Waldman on May 28, 2003 12:35 PMso, you think this is the right look for peter?
http://thanatos47.homestead.com/files/psarrett.jpg
Posted by: dana on May 28, 2003 06:46 PMYou have way too much time on your hands.
Posted by: Peter Sarrett on May 28, 2003 09:02 PMPeter, I started losing my hair 10 years ago and I am only 29 now... Didn't really matter when I was married but now that I am single again...
No matter how you try to hide the curse of the receeding hairline it won't work. Mullets also don't work anymore (lol) so the only way to go is shaved. No maintenance, no hassle, just wake up and go!
Posted by: Michael Becker on May 28, 2003 10:42 PM>so, you think this is the right look for peter?
Posted by: David Waldman on May 29, 2003 09:30 AMThis is why I don't shower.
Posted by: Matthew on May 29, 2003 10:58 AMin re: http://thanatos47.homestead.com/files/psarrett.jpg
LOfuckingL!
Well, it looks like Dana's Photoshop work was a big hit.
Kind of makes me thankful that I held back on the nipple piercing suggestion.
Posted by: David Waldman on May 31, 2003 11:42 AMYou need to get a second mirror for your bathroom to check how you've combed your hair before going out now.
If you're six feet tall, get a second mirror (A 2.5'x2.5' mirror is $7 at Walmart), hang it at seven or eight feet high opposite your primary bathroom mirror, and tilt it enough (bailing wire is useful here) that when you look into your primary mirror you can see the back of your head in the morning as well.
This makes a huge difference realigning the hair which the shower spout always seems to spray appart for maximum exposure.
The eventual solution is http://www.veralex2.com/ To cut through their sales jargon, the Veralix system is made of the same material as soft-contact lenses so it's both clear and breathes. Real human hair is embedded in the contact lense material. Because of its fineness and clearness, the line between your hair and the system is not visible (they actually do a special thing for the edges). It is a four month delay to get started because each one is custom made to match your scalp shape (You will usually get a fresh system every 6 months). It is attached by clear surgical glue that holds like hell but is tricky to remove and takes a technician to do so. Every four weeks you visit their office where in one hour they remove the system, clean up your scalp, and reattach with fresh surgical glue. In between you swim, shower, etc. You shampoo both your own hair and the system together as normal (You may need to switch to an oilier conditioner). Total cost: $250 a month. Annoyance: You're locked into the same hair style for six months at a time. Cool aspect for women suffering from baldness: Instant long hair without any wait.
Half of Hollywood and Congress are using Veralix, TXH, or similar non-surgical hair systems. Not only men, but a lot of women too. If you've got the money, non-surgical is the best solution.
Posted by: BeenThere on June 4, 2003 09:47 AM